Archer: 2015 Comic-Con: Aftermath
by snake screamer
Summary: What happen after Pam, Krieger and Archer leave for Comic Con to watch the new Star Wars trailer


_I do not own Archer. the Krieglin and Chichi belong to Red Witch_

"First of all, where are Pam, Sterling and Krieger gone, secondly WHY is there a huge hole in the garage!" Mallory snapped

"Well if you seen the security cam like we told you, you know Pam and archer were talking about comic con before Krieger came bursting through the wall and telling Archer about the new star wars." Lana said

"The new what?" Mallory asked confused "Do you have any idea what she talking about?"

"Nope." Cheryl said

"Don't look at me." Ray said

"Seriously?" Lana asked annoyed. "I get Cheryl... but Ray, you honestly telling me you never watch or even heard of Star Wars?"

"Should i have?" Ray asked

"It made Mark Hamill career!" Lana stated

"The voice of the Joker! I love that guy." Cheryl stated

"Mark Hamill or the Joker?" Cyril asked Before Cheryl could say something he quickly added "On second thought i don't want to know."

"If we are done with celebrity gossip, i needed those three cause Slater coming to check in to see how were progressing and i know there going to be annoyed that three of my employer left for some nerd fest and of course the huge hole!" Mallory snapped. "I already have to lied to them about Krieglin thing and told them it was a surprise KGB attack!"

"Which make sense since i think Barry still has some followers in that organization if Intel correct." Cyril said

"Heh, they must be pretty damned insane one to follow that guy." Lana said

"Yeah, i mean he still hot but otherwise too batshit crazy for my liking." Ray said

"Are you done." Mallory said "Cause i have some jobs for you. Lana i need you to call my idiot son and tell him to come back here immediately, Cheryl i want you to tell me immediately when Slater comes here, i don't care if you had to use a bloody air horn to signal me just do it. And you two i have a special job for you."

"Why don't i like the sound of that." Ray muttered

* * *

"So wait, your telling me ALL three of the original actor are coming back for this." Archer said excitedly.

"Yep, Leia, Hans and Luke are coming back!" Krieger said

"AHH! I'm so happy to be alive!" Archer said happily

"Nerd." Pam stated

"Shut up Pam! This is Star Wars were talking about. One of the greatest films in our lifetimes." Archer said

"Weren't you bitching about the prequel ruining them forever?" Pam asked

"Well, yes. but that was before 'The Clone Wars' tv show came out and won me back." Archer said

"That show had way better characterization then the prequels could deliver." Krieger said

A phone ringing could be heard, Both Krieger and Pam check there. When it wasn't making the noise they realize it had to be Archer.

"Let me guess your not going to answer your phone and let one of your stupid voice messages do it?" Krieger asked

"One there not stupid and two, no i didn't think of one today, i had a plan of activating the fire sprinkler and pun on rainy day but this sorta happened." Archer said "So i'll just let it ring till it drive on the other end crazy."

* * *

"Oh for the love of, how long can this keep ringing?" Lana said annoyed "Oh this better not be one of his stupid messages that has a ring tone added to it or i will make sure his tinnitus will get ten time worse."

* * *

"You want us to what!" Ray shouted

"You heard me, i want you to pretend your both Krieger assistant and know how half his stuff works." Mallory said

"No, i refuse to do that." Cyril said

"Me too, Krieger stuff is dangerous." Ray said

"So is being a dictator and helping aid your drug farmer brother."

"... Beg pardon?" Cyril asked

"Cause last I check, they were still hunting for the mysterious former dictator who took the last one place, i'm sure there a huge reward. And i'm sure the police will believe that the fruit doesn't fall from the tree when they learn who was helping move his cocaine." Mallory said

"Y-you can't do that." Cyril said slightly high pitched

"Oh can't I? The CIA is always looking for scape goat and know a good way to bury the truth when needed. So keep in mind i will screw both of you over to save my hide and smart enough to know not fall for a simple police tactic like waiting till the perk start to sell out a person to avoid jail time." Mallory said

"Goddamn it." Ray muttered "She got us by the ankles."

They all jumped as they heard a loud airhorn over the intercom

"Aggh! what the hell!" Mallory shouted

"Oh Mrs Archer, Slater here to see you." Cheryl voice sang.

Mallory growled as she left the room. "I'm going to kill her-"

* * *

"Jesus calm down women, it not as if i let you an annoying voice mail this time!" Archer snapped over his phone.

"When will you stop pulling these childish stunts, and worse you run off again." Lana voice snapped

"Oh pulling the running away card are we? Well maybe i wouldn't run so much, if you tested me in a way that WOULDN'T GET ME SHOT IN A NON-REAL HOSTAGE SITUATION! OR MAYBE I WOULDN'T HAVE RUN WHEN YOU TOLD ME YOU MADE ME A FATHER AGAINST MY WILL IF IT WAS PAM WHO WAS PREGNANT WITH ABBIEJEAN SINCE I BE HONESTLY SHOCK SHE KEPT THAT A SECRET FOR SO LONG!"

"That would be impressive." Pam admitted

"Heck i be impress if it was Krieger who was pregnant since it be his first messing with nature that look completely human with no modification of any sort!"

"Yeah that would be a first for me in creating a normal thing i gotta admit." Krieger aid

"But no, you kept it a secret and when I offer to help father her WAY before i knew it was mine you told me you rather lose the baby! So excuse me when i say you can't pull the running away card with me no more! NOW GOODBYE LANA CAUSE STAR WARS AWAIT!" Archer snapped

* * *

"... damn, he got me there." Lana muttered "Welp might as well tell Mallory what happened.

* * *

"So tell me Mrs Archer, who destroyed your building this time." Slater said annoyed "Or did you just destroyed the wall to get some money out of this."

"What, why would i trouble the CIA for something as minor as... a hole in my garage." Mallory stated

"Oh geeze i don't know, just reading about half of your mission history for awhile, you kinda see a pattern with you and money." Slater said snarkily.

"Oh no, we would never stoop so low as to do that, we all worked hard to our benefactor for the CIA."

"Bad news Mallory, Archer hanged up on-" Lana enter the hallway and stopped talking when she spotted Slater

"Well except him, but you know how Sterling like, afterall you met him." Mallory stated

"Didn't Pam and Krieger convince him to leave work this time?" Cheryl asked

"Thank you for your insight Cheryl." Mallory said with enough venom to kill half of New York.

"Your welcome." Cheryl said absently.

"So your missing half your staff..." Slater said annoyed

"Oh yes, but i'm sure that there out there in a attempt to take down some bad guys."

"Ha, what kind of idiots would fall for there tricks."

"Archer tricked you with his 'Ranbo' alias didn't he." Lana said condescendingly. Slater gave a glare but kept quiet as they enter the lab.

"Oh welcome Ms. Archer, Slater." Ray said

"Your letting these two idiots mess with this stuff." Slater said

"Oh, i assure you that Krieger taught these two quite alot, why they spend quite abit of time discussing with Krieger during the cocaine mission about scientific formula and whatnot."

"Oh yes, we totally did that instead of playing poker." Cyril said under his breath.

"Uh-huh, this train wreck should be good."

"Now, now. they showed me some interesting things why take this little trinket." Mallory said pulling a remote control.

"What does it do?" Slater asked curiously.

"Oh i can show you right now." Mallory said as she pressed a button.

"GAHH!" Ray shouted as fell to the ground.

"See it shut down any cybernetic limb within a 5 foot radius." Mallory said

"You bitch! why would you do that!" Ray snapped

"Oh calm down, this was the remote Krieger made for you in the mansion. i'll turn your leg back as soon as he gone." Mallory whispered to him.

Ray just muttered angrily under his breath.

"Uh-huh, while that was kinda interesting, it wasn't Chichi interesting." Slater said

"Wait Chichi."

"Yeah our government hired killer, she was place in Calderon staff and was order to watch him and if he prove uncontrollable kill him." Slater said

"Err... i'm sure you mean a different Chichi."

"Nono i'm sure, she has that weird thing with a mole and sex. She also told me to apologize as her communicator was broken during an attack and was force to please a guy who she said 'While having a huge dick, she had to do all the work in the affair."

"So true." Lana muttered

"You literally had to walk him step by step to get there." Cheryl agreed

"W-well maybe she was lying about that and the man got a scented letter saying how good he is." Cyril said

"Ohh... then i hate to be that guy." Slater said

"What, why?"

"Trust me you don't want to know." Slater said as they left the lab leaving a angry Ray and a distressed Cyril behind.

* * *

(A few days later)

"Well great you lot came back. enjoyed your trip." Mallory said

"Honestly yes, Not only did we get to see some great Star Wars stuff, but there was some pretty interesting thing there." Archer said

"And we barely got into any trouble this time!" Krieger said

"Yeah, we only got kicked out by the hotel on the last day when they finally send in the cleaning lady." Pam said

"Man that women can scream." Archer said

"Why was she- On second thought never-mind. I don't want to know. Btw no thanks to you three idiots we were able to convince Slater not to cut our connection with the CIA."

"Yeah barely." Lana said

"And i still demand a raise from it!" Ray snapped as he was in his wheel chair.

"Err... i been meaning to ask, but why is Ray in a wheel chair again?" Archer asked

"CAUSE YOUR MOTHER USE KREIGER STUPID REMOTE AND DOESN'T KNOW WHICH BUTTON TO USE TO TURN MY BLOODY LEGS BACK ON!" Ray snapped

"And i apologize, stop whining about it." Mallory said dismissively.

"Okay follow up question, why is Cyril hiding under his desk as if the boogeyman coming to get him." Archer said

"Let just say San Marcos isn't done screwing him over yet." Mallory said

"Yeesh, now i'm really glad i decided to go to comic con." Archer said.

"Oh yes, that reminds me." Mallory said, she violently kicked Archer in the groin making him wheeze as he fell down "If you leave a giant hole in the garage again, i will make sure that you will suffer greatly for it from now until the day i die, got it."

"Crystal." Archer wheezed.


End file.
